Transcription of video:
All Praise and Thanks belongs to Allah (سبحانه وتعالى) and may the peace and blessing of Allah be upon His servant and final messenger, Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم). My dear respected brothers in Islam, today’s Khutbah is a message and a sincere advice to many Muslims that commit a crime that is just as bad as secularism.
Secularism is a very bad deed, in which the people want to separate between the country and the state’s affairs from religious affairs. So religion is one thing and the worldly affairs and our day to day affairs is a totally other thing. With the same attitude and mentality, there are many Muslims that separate the religion from manners and good character.
This is a crime that we want to speak about today; bad manners in Islam. People that separate religion from good character and good manners and good dealings, this is just as bad as a sin as secularism.
My brothers in Islam, many people embraced Islam because of the manners of Muslims, and many people decided to remain upon their kufr, and many decided to leave Islam all together because of manners of some Muslims. Today, what we want to go through is the Quran very quickly, we want to go through the Quran from beginning to end very quickly, to see what Allah (سبحانه وتعالى) mentions of character and manners in the Quran, and how to deal with others and morals and etiquettes. Deen, the religion, is not just Ibadah, it’s not just worship; prayer, fasting, Haj or Sadaqah, that’s not only what the Deen is, the Deen is also Muamalat; dealings with others and good manners and behaving towards others and upholding the rights of others. Your manners can either end you up in Jahannam, as we’ll see with the Ayaat and Ahadees, or your manners could either end you up in Jannat-Ul-Firdos, as we’ll also see in these Ahadees and Ayaat.
My brothers in Islam, many Muslims display a total different personality, when he’s involved in business dealings, with business issues. When there’s money involved, he is a different person. When he is involved in a divorce, he’s different person. When he’s involved at court with another Muslim, he is a different person.
He’s not the same person that you know in the Masjid, he is not the same person that reads the Quran and he cries, he’s not the same person you know in Ramadan, he’s not that same person that he’s concerned in fasting Mondays and Thursdays, he becomes a totally different person all together. You will have never imagined that one day he’ll ever become like this, bad manners made him like this. This is a serious crime.
Let’s look at the first Ayah, we will begin with Surah Baqarah. This Ayah is enough to terrify us from bad manners, and what it will do and its consequences in your Deen and in your own life. Allah (سبحانه وتعالى) says:
‘’O you who believe, do not destroy, do not invalidate your Sadaqaat….’’
Sadaqaat is a worship, how are you going to invalidate it? How would you destroy your Sadaqaat?
‘’…with bad manners.’’
الْمَنّ وَالْأَذَىٰ is when you speak and when you keep speaking, reminding the person you gave him a favor of the favor you did to him, so that he feels bad about himself. Also, that he feels like he owes you something. Allah (عزوجل) is saying, your Sadaqah, your Deen, your Worship is Batil, it’s cancelled, it’s nullified, it’s invalid, it’s destroyed with bad manners that you have. Allah (عزوجل) is warning us in this Ayah, bad manners will destroy your worship. Don’t be deceived and don’t be fooled by your worship, if your manners are neglected, if the dealings with others, if your responsibility at work, if your financial dealing with others, dealing with your family, with your wife, with your children is terrible, don’t be deceived and fooled with your good deeds.
Allah (سبحانه وتعالى) began the Ayah with ‘‘آمَنُوا’’ He ended up with ‘‘كَافِرِين’’ Such a person on the Day of Judgment loses all his good deeds because of bad manners that he had towards the people. My brothers in Islam, many times we discuss worship and we speak about worship; Al-Salah, Al-Soom, Al-Zakat, however, manners are hardly discussed, and manners are just as important as worship, rather it’s an integral form and part of worship. As some of the Salaf (رحمة الله), they would say:
‘’Everything has a foundation and the foundation of Islam is good character and good manners. Without this foundation, your Islam is not built and your Iman cannot build up.’’
My brothers in Islam, the first Surah that was revealed to the Rasool Ullah (صلى الله عليه وسلم) in Al-Madinah, after His Hijrah, the first word that Jibreel (عليه السلام) revealed from seven heavens and came down and gave it to Rasool Ullah (صلى الله عليه وسلم) as soon as he entered Al-Madinah was: لِّلۡمُطَفِّفِيۡن وَيۡلٌ Surah Mutaffifin was the first Surah to come to Rasool Ullah (صلى الله عليه وسلم) as He entered Al-Madinah.
‘’May the destruction vow to Al-Mutaffifin, may the destruction be upon Al-Mutaffifin.’’ Who are Al-Mutaffifin? The one who has two personalities, when it comes to his rights, he wants everyone to respect him and everyone to fulfill his rights. When it comes to the rights of others, he violates the rights of others. When it comes to him, he wants the discount that he wants, he wants everything to be easy for him, and all rights fulfilled and give it to him. But when it comes to others, he over-charge them for a service, he cannot even do and he cannot even deliver.
The first Ayah that came down is speaking about people, that shortchange the people in business, that steal the people in business, that promise the service they cannot even live to. The first Ayah that was expected to come down in Al-Madinah was something about Al-Salah, Al-Khushoo Fi-Salah, rather the first Ayah was about manners and dealings, our behavior with each other. This if anything, it teaches us the value and importance of manners in Islam.
If you have cut up and you have torn the primage from your hours and hours of Salah, but still, you have cut and you’ve torn your relationship with your relatives, and you had severed these ties and you’re disrespectful to your parents and you cheat and you lie and you keep promising the people and you go against your word and you cannot deliver and you demand a discount for whenever work is done for you and you consume a Riba and you back bite, if this is you, then Allah is saying, Vow to you, may the destruction befall someone like this.
My brothers in Islam, this Ayah was revealed to companions, it’s a Madani Surah, it’s not a Makki Surah, it wasn’t revealed to the lights of Abu-Lahab and Abu-Jahl, this Ayah came down among Abu-Bakr, Umar, Usman, Ali, Talha (رضي الله عنه) it came among these people and this Ayah was revealed to them. These are people just like us that said LA ILAHA ILLALLAH MUHAMMADUR RASULULLAH, it was revealed to people that prayed behind Rasool Ullah (صلى الله عليه وسلم) in Masjid Nabwi.
Allah (عزوجل) is saying, worship without manners is none beneficial for the person, just like Allah (سبحانه وتعالى) cursed those who neglect their Salah, in the same manner, He cursed those who do not have any manners. Someone with bad manners goes around and he back-bites and he gossips and he slanders the people, also in his dealings he is terrible, rubbish with the people, the one who leaves worship, also the one who leaves out the manners.
My brothers in Islam, topic is serious, and it requires a lot of attention day after day. The one who performs Al-Hajj and cheats, unacceptable image in Islam. The one who prays and then he brings music and dances to his daughter’s wedding, unacceptable in Islam. The one who has a beard, but still attends the club and he drinks the alcohol and does the drugs and whatever it is, unacceptable image in Islam. These examples, such people, they destroy the image of Islam. Instead of you being an asset and in addition to Islam, you became a loss to Islam.
My brothers in Islam, these are very important topics, the manners in Islam and what bad manners will do to such people. This is the first Surah that came down in the Al-Madinah. The first Hadith that Rasool Ullah (صلى الله عليه وسلم) spoke of in Al-Madinah, Abdullah Bin Salam (رضي الله عنه) narrates, He said, the day that Rasool Ullah (صلى الله عليه وسلم) entered Al-Madinah, and he was walking among the people, the first thing He said: ‘’O people spread Salam, spread the peace.’’ What’s that? Worship or manners? Manners. Have good manners. Second thing, ‘’Feed the people, look after the needy and the poor.’’ What’s that? That’s manners. ‘’And keep ties with your relatives, maintain those bonds.’’ What’s that? Manners. At the end, ‘’And pray at night while the people are sleeping. You’ll enter the paradise peacefully.’’
Three quarters of the road to paradise is manners. This is the first thing that Rasool Ullah (صلى الله عليه وسلم) began His speech upon entering Al-Madinah, first three parts were something to do with manners and dealing with others. At the end, the worship was mentioned, why? Because this is what righteousness is, righteousness is good character and good manners. Allah (عزوجل) proved the truthfulness and authenticity of Islam through the character of Rasool Ullah (صلى الله عليه وسلم). In Surah Qalam, Allah (عزوجل) said:
‘’You’re upon great character and manners.’’
This Ayah alone was enough to prove the authenticity and truthfulness of Islam. In the same Surah, Surah Qalam, Allah (سبحانه وتعالى) warned Nabi (صلى الله عليه وسلم) to keep them away from certain people. Who are these people that He’s supposed to keep away from? ‘’Don’t follow and don’t be deceived by the liars, the compulsive liars.’’ That’s bad manners. Then in the Ayah: ‘’And do not follow the one who continues to swear, he swears a lot, he takes a lot of oaths, and it’s worthless for him, he doesn’t even realize what he’s saying. Don’t follow such a person. Keep away from such a person.’’ That is also bad manners. ‘’The one who ridicules and mocks and slanders and backbites, don’t follow him either.’’ Bad manners.
Allah (عزوجل) says:
‘’The one who prevents the good from the people, bad manners. Don’t follow him.’’ ‘’A sinful oppressor, do not follow these people.’’ In the same Surah, Allah (عزوجل) teaches us that what will prove to you the truthfulness of Islam is the character of Rasool Ullah (صلى الله عليه وسلم), and the worst threat to Islam is the bad character. This is why Allah (عزوجل) tells Him, do not follow 1234, all of them had bad characters.
If you look into Surah Al-A’raf, once we gave a Khutbah about who the people of Al-a’raf are, but there is an opinion among the Ulamah, that they mentioned that the people of Al-a’raf are those who performed Jihad Fi Sabil-ILLAH, but they were disrespectful to their parents, so they ended up on a mountain of Al-A’raf, such a huge deed, Al-Jihad Fi Sabilillah, but they failed in their manners and their dealings with their parents, as a result, they got trapped on a mountain Allahu Alam, where their ending will be. Al-Jihad was leading them to Jannah-Tul-Firdos, it was leading them to that, however, their bad manners forced them to stand on a mountain between the paradise and the hellfire, they are awaiting Allah (سبحانه وتعالى) mercy to descend upon them, and then eventually, they would enter the paradise.
My brothers in Islam, you see, the people of Al-A’raf, this is a loss, but it is no way nee and it is not compared to what is about to come and still to be discussed. Nabi (صلى الله عليه وسلم) informs us that a woman showed bad manners and displayed bad manners to a cat, and as a result, that led her to Jahannam. Imagine the one who shows bad manners to other human beings, to his parents, to his relatives, to his Muslim brothers and sisters, to the scholars of Islam, to the religious and the knowledgeable of Islam, imagine what his ending would be.
The same manner, Nabi (صلى الله عليه وسلم) teaches us that a woman, a prostitute; she earns her money through Zina, she displayed and showed good character and manners to a dog that was thirsty, she gave him some water to drink, Allah (عزوجل) appreciated her deed, He forgave her and He admitted her into the paradise. All of this because bad manners and good manners. Good manners ended her up in the paradise, bad manners with the cat ended the other one in Jahannam.
My brothers in Islam, the Hadith of Rasool Ullah (صلى الله عليه وسلم) that we discussed three weeks ago, about the three from Bani Israel that were trapped in a cave, the cave closed up, three in a cave, dead, that’s it, they’re finished, no contact to the outside world, no one knows where they are, what are they going to do? They begin to make Dua. The first one says, ‘’Oh, Allah! I was good to my parents.’’ What’s that? Manners or ownership? Manners. The second one ‘’Oh, Allah! There was a cousin that I loved and I was almost about to fall into Zina with her, so I retrieved and I gave her Sadaqah.’’ What is that? Manners or worship? Manners. The third person, ‘’Oh, Allah! I was responsible and honest in my job and I gave to the last sin until the last dollar, what I owe for my employee and for my worker, and I gave him that.’’
That is his Dua. What’s that? Manners or worship? That was manners. All three of them displayed good manners, as a result, Allah (سبحانه وتعالى) removes the Boulder, and they walk out free. For this reason, Allah (عزوجل) relieved them from their difficulties and from their calamities because of their good manners. For this reason, maybe, the difficulties and calamities in your life are because of your bad manners, because of your bad dealings with your workers, because of your bad dealings with your friends, with your wife, with your children, with your Muslim brothers and sisters.
Sheikh Sharah (رحمة الله) narrates a story on one of the Ayah in his Tafseer. He narrates a story that happened to Him. He said, one day, I employed a teacher to teach at my college. This teacher began to complain to Sheikh Sharah and to the people that were in the school, he was complaining that the wages are low, life is tough and I’m barely getting any money, going through a lot of difficulty to go from one week to another week in my life. Sharah (رحمة الله) said, one day I saw this man, I saw him carrying papers and pencils and pens and sharpeners; school stationary. He carried them. They belonged to the office, they didn’t belong to him. He took them and he was walking out with them. Sheikh (رحمة الله) said to him, ‘’What are you doing?’’ He said, ‘’Well, I don’t have money, I cannot buy school stationery for my children, so I take from the office and I go. What am I going to do?’’ Sheikh said, ‘’This is haram money.’’ He said, ‘’What am I going to do? What’s the solution?’’ Sheikh (رحمة الله) said to him, ‘’It’s because of this haram money that you face these difficulties and calamities in your life.’’ After a while, this man woke up to himself and he repented, Allah (سبحانه وتعالى) removed his difficulties and worries from his life. Sheikh Sharah at the end of the story says, ‘’Subhan Allah, this person did the sin and he did not even take notice of it. This type of bad manners and corrupt character was the reason for his calamities and difficulties in life. So when he made the Toba, Allah (سبحانه وتعالى) relieved him from all these problems.’’
Most of our problems in life are because of bad manners, but we don’t realize it because bad manners became a day to day thing with us, something that becomes normal. So difficulties in your life, perhaps it’s not because of the Haram you saw, it is perhaps because of the bad deeds and the bad dealings and the bad character that one carries. My brothers in Islam, in Surah Nahl, Allah (سبحانه وتعالى) says, [Arabic]. Ibn-e-Abbas (رضي الله عنه) said that this is an Ayah that contained and mentioned all good in Islam, and this Ayah is an Ayah that mentioned all bad in Islam. It commanded us of all good and it forbid us from all evil. Allah commands justice and excellence and giving the relatives, giving them their rights, and Allah (عزوجل) prevents and forbids you from immorality, transgression, oppression. Usman Bin Maz’oon (رضي الله عنه) was a man that loved good character and He loved justice. He said, Deen Islam did not settle and solidify in my heart, until Allah revealed this Ayah. Then He loved good manners. He says, Wallah, this is a Deen that advocates for good manners and it calls against bad manners, this is the Deen. He chose it and he accepted it, and Islam and serenity settled in his heart because of this Ayah.
Adi Bin Hatim At-Ta’i (رضي الله عنه) was a king from among the kings of the Arabs. He accepted Islam because of good manners. Very interesting story, He has. He said that he came from his town to Al-Madinah to investigate the authenticity of the Rasool Ullah (صلى الله عليه وسلم). He came and he’s wearing a big cross to provoke the Muslims and to provoke the Sahabah, and he walks into Rasool Ullah (صلى الله عليه وسلم). Nabi (صلى الله عليه وسلم) invites him to walk with Him down the streets of Al-Madinah. Nabi (صلى الله عليه وسلم) companions are walking in front of Him, some behind, on the left, on the right, Nabi (صلى الله عليه وسلم) walking. Adi (رضي الله عنه) is with him, so they are walking together. There is a young slave girl, she waves down Rasool Ullah (صلى الله عليه وسلم) so the companions stopped. Nabi (صلى الله عليه وسلم) went to her, attended to her, she began to complain, ‘’Well, Rasool Ullah (صلى الله عليه وسلم) my master is overworking me and too much and oppressing me.’’ Nabi (صلى الله عليه وسلم) went and solved the issue. Adi (رضي الله عنه) is waiting, He says, Wallah, this cannot be the manners of kings. Kings Don’t do like this. Kings ignore and just keep walking. He (صلى الله عليه وسلم) must be a messenger of Allah. He broke the cross that was around his neck and he accepted Islam because of the good character of Rasool Ullah (صلى الله عليه وسلم)
An-Najashi (رحمة الله), He also accepted Islam because of the Dawah of Ja’far ibn Abi Talib, when he taught him of the good manners that Islam preaches. Caesar, the Roman Empire, when he heard the good manners of Islam from Abu Sufyan (رضي الله عنه) he said, ‘’If I was with your Prophet right now, I would wash his foot.’’ Kings accepted Islam because of the manners of the Muslims.
Now, let’s ask the question. Don’t ask yourself the question, how many accepted Islam and embraced Islam because of our good manners? Rather, let’s ask the question and be serious, how many people left Islam and how many people neglected Al-Masjid and how many people left their Salah and how many people don’t want to associate with the Muslim community because of our bad manners? Answer the question. And how many people refuse and want to remain Kuffar because of the bad manners of the Muslims? My brothers in Islam, this is a serious topic that we’re supposed to speak about. There is a hadith that mentions that the people have come out of the grave, resurrection has finished, the major events of the day of judgment, finally, at last, they’re over and the believers cross Al-Siraat, Jahannam is behind and the Paradise is in front, it’s only a few steps and we enter. All of a sudden stop. Hadith mentions, Nabi (صلى الله عليه وسلم) says, That the people are caged and trapped, and they’re not allowed to enter the paradise. They have stopped right between the paradise and the hell fire. All of a sudden, there’s one more event that we still haven’t finished. It is known Al-Qantarah. Al-Qantarah is a place in where now the judgment of your manners is going to happen, the dealing between others, now, it’s going to be judged. You oppressed others, you shortchanged the others, you displayed bad character to others. Now, it’s going to be judged. Before that, it was only a worship that is judged. Now, the dealings between others.
In the same Hadith, Allah (عزوجل) choose an interesting place for this type of judgment, in front of you is the Paradise, behind you is Jahannam. Your manners might be the one that would push you into the Paradise, or your manners would be the one that would retract you back into Jahannam. It is this moment in which Nabi (صلى الله عليه وسلم) once asked His companions, ‘’Do you know who the bankrupt is on the day of judgment?’’ This is the moment it will happen. They said, Ya Rasool Ullah (صلى الله عليه وسلم)! bankrupt is the one that has no cent, no money. He said, that’s the bankrupt of world, the Muflis, the bankrupt of the hereafter, he comes with Salaat, it was amazing, it was incredible, 10 out of 10 for his Salaat, his Zakat, 10 out of 10, Siyam, 10 out of 10, worship, he’s passed, that’s why he has passed Siraat because of his worship.
Then Al-Hadith says: However, he’s cursed such a person and he’s slandered such a person and he’s shortchanged this person, he’s stolen in his business, and he struck and hit this person aggressively, and he spilled the blood of this person oppressively, so what happens? People around, Allah! give us Hasanaat, we don’t want dollars anymore, today we want Hasanat, give us. So He gives and He gives and He gives. The word Subhan Allah is enough in the weight as the mountain of Uhud. All his Hasanat are gone. What happened to this person? What life did he live? What kind of bad manners did he have? Every single Hasana is clean, bankrupt, finished, and still the people want rights from him. So what happens? The person says, give me Hasanat. He says, this is all I have; bankrupt. This Siyah was going to Jahannam, is like, take it, and take my Siyah. The sins of people would begin to accumulate on him. Then the Hadith says: He’s thrown in Jahannam. All these Hasanat, the long nights in Salah, Qiyam, Ramadan, all of this is gone because of bad manners. Unacceptability in Islam, bad manners. Change your manners, change your attitude towards the people. Islam, half of it is manners. Manners comes before your worship, manner is what’s going to keep your worship steadfast and firm.
My brothers in Islam, Nabi (صلى الله عليه وسلم) us once in Makkah walking past a Sahabi, Abu Masood (رضي الله عنه) and he was lashing, he was beating a slave of his. Now this companion obviously, he’s not oppressing the slave, there must be a good reason for why he’s giving him a good beating. But anyway, Nabi (صلى الله عليه وسلم) saw Abu Masood, and He said, ‘’O Abu Masood! Make sure, be aware, that Allah is more capable upon you, than you have upon this servant and upon this slave. Allah (عزوجل) is capable. If you are able to oppress others, if you’re able to oppress the wife, if you’re able to neglect the rights of the children and oppress them, Allah is capable to do whatever he wants with you.’’ Abu-Masood was terrified, and he freed the slave. He didn’t even say, Ya Rasool Ullah (صلى الله عليه وسلم) let me explain to you the story, I’m beating him because 123, he didn’t even say that, no matter what the boy did, it doesn’t give you the right to show that manners to people. So Abu Masood said, I free him for the sake of Allah, I have nothing to do with him. Then there’s a narration that Rasool Ullah (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said to him, ‘’If you did not free him, you would have been burnt by the fire.’’ Allah-O-Akbar! Bad manners would have led to Abu-Masood being burnt in the fire. Never justify your bad manners. The Muslim is always a degree above, and he always carries his responsibility, and he always carries good manners with him.
I end with this one last final passage in the Quran. In Surah Nahl, Allah (سبحانه وتعالى) says, Fulfill the covenant of Allah (عزوجل) when you have taken it, and you when you have given a word to someone, then uphold your word. Don’t break your promise. Don’t break your word. How do you do that? The Ayah says that, you’re the one that made Allah witness of your word. You said, ‘’Wallahi, I’m going to deliver such and such service on such and such date, and it will cost you such and such’’, and then you neglect your word and you overturn it and you don’t care as well. Then why did you make Allah (عزوجل) as a witness over your case? You said Wallah, and you took an agreement and a covenant and you shook hands on it.
Allah (عزوجل) says at the end of the Ayah, Do not take the oaths and the covenants between each other, don’t use the oaths to deceive and cheat each other. Don’t use Allah’s name to your advantage. That’s bad manners with Allah and bad manners with the people. Because if you do that, you know what happens? What’s the result? People would be misled from Islam. A person was about to come into Islam, he saw the goodness of Islam, because of your bad dealings, because you violated your oath, what happened? He would slip and he would go away. Allah (عزوجل) is telling us if one person was misled because of your bad deeds, that’s a disaster and a calamity. How are you going to face Allah (عزوجل) on the Day of Judgment, knowing that one person lost his Deen, lost his Islam and his righteousness because of your bad manners?
Not only that, two more parts for the Ayah. Because you did that, because of bad manners, you will taste the evil of the punishment because you misled people from the deen of Allah. You might argue and you might say that I love Islam, I love Salaat. Allah (عزوجل) is saying that if you have bad manners, you’re actually turning people away from Islam, you will taste the punishment in this life, because you misled people from Islam. And in the Hereafter, there is a serious torment for punishment that will come to such people.
My brothers in Islam, rectify the character before it’s too late. Solve your issues and your problems with people before it’s too late. Give up, whatever problem you have in your life for the sake of Allah, so that you can be closer to Rasool Ullah (صلى الله عليه وسلم) on the Day of Judgment, as He (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said, ‘’The people that are close to me on the Day of Judgment are those who had good manners.’’ This hadith in its opposite meaning it’s also true, those who are far away from Rasool Ullah (صلى الله عليه وسلم) on the Day of Judgment are those with bad manners.