Ala-Maududi
(64:14) Believers, there are enemies to you from among your spouses and your off-spring, sobeware of them. But if you forgive and overlook their offences and pardon them, then surelyAllah is Most Forgiving, Most Compassionate.[29]
29. This verse has two meanings:
According to the first meaning, it applies to most of those difficulties which are encountered bymany believing men from their wives and the women from their husbands and the parents from theirchildren in following the way of God. It seldom so happens in the world that a man has a wife ora wife has a husband, who are full companions and helpers of each other in the matter of faithand righteousness, and that both may also have such children as may be the comfort of their eyesas regards to faith and deeds, morals and conduct. But generally it so happens that if thehusband is righteous and honest, the wife and children look upon his honesty and piety andrighteousness as a misfortune for themselves, and want that the husband and the father shouldearn Hell for their sake, and, by giving up the distinction between the lawful and the unlawful,should provide means of luxury and enjoyment, sin and vice, for them in every passable way. Onthe contrary, many a time a pious believing woman happens to have a husband, who does not at allapprove her obedience to the laws of God. And the children, following in the footsteps of thefather, make the life of the mother miserable by their deviation and evil deeds. Then,particularly, when during the conflict between Islam and unbelief a man’s faith demands that heshould suffer losses for the sake of Allah and this religion, run risks, emigrate from thecountry or even endanger his life by joining the war against unbelief, the greatest hindrance inhis way are the people of his own household.
The second meaning relates to those special circumstances which most of the Muslims were facingat the time these verses were sent down, and also today they are faced by every person whoembraces Islam in a non-Muslim society. At that time in Makkah and in other parts of Arabia asituation that was commonly being experienced was that a man would embrace Islam but his wifeand children would not only be disinclined to accept it but would try their best to press him togive up Islam. And similar were the situation encountered by the women who alone embraced Islamin the family.
Addressing the believers who may be confronted with either situation, three things have beenimpressed:
First, they have been warned as if to say: Although from the worldly point of view these are thedearest relations of man, yet from the religious point of view, they are your enemies. Thisenmity may be for the reason that they hinder you from good and induce you to do evil, or thatthey restrain you from belief and pull you towards unbelief, or that their sympathies are withhe unbelievers, and through you if they ever come to know any of the war secrets of the Muslims,they convey it to the enemies of Islam. Owing to these the nature and quality of enmity mayvary, but in any case it is enmity; and if you hold your faith dearer to your heart, you shouldregard them as your enemies. In their love you should never forget that between you and themthere stands the barrier of belief and unbelief, or of obedience and disobedience.
Then, it is said: Beware of them. That is, you should not ruin your eternal life for the sake oftheir worldly life. Let not their love so overwhelm you that they become a hindrance for you inyour relationship with Allah and His Messenger (peace be upon him) and your loyalty to Islam. Donot place such reliance on them that the secrets of the Muslim community should come to theirnotice and through them reach your enemies only by your negligence and carelessness. This is thefirst thing of which the Prophet (peace be upon him) has warned the Muslims in a Hadith: Aperson will be brought up on the Day of Resurrection, and it will be proclaimed: His wife andchildren ate up all his good deeds.
In the end, it is said: If you pardon and overlook and forgive, Allah is surely All-Forgiving,All-Merciful. It means: You are being made aware of their enmity so that you may beware of themand do your best to save your faith from them. This warning does not, however, mean that youshould treat your wife and children harshly, or strain your relations with them so as to makeyour own and their domestic lift miserable and wretched. For if you did so, two of thedisadvantages would obviously result: First, it may close down every avenue to the reformationof the wife and children forever; second, it may give rise to suspicions and misgivings againstIslam in the society and the people around may form the impression that a Muslim turns undulyrigid and ill-tempered for his own children in his own house as soon as he has embraced Islam.In this connection, one should also keep in mind that in the beginning when the people becameMuslims, they encountered a special difficulty if their parents were unbelievers. They wouldpress their children to give up the new faith. They would face another difficulty when theirwives and children (or in case of women, their husbands and children) persisted unbelief andwould force them to abandon the faith of truth. About the first difficulty, instruction wasgiven in (Surah Al-Ankabut, Ayat 8) and(Surah Luqman, Ayat 14-15), saying:Treat your parents well but if they press you to join with Me another about whom you have noknowledge, do not obey them at all. About the second difficulty the instruction has been givenhere, saying: You must try to save your faith from your children and family members but do nottreat them harshly, but rather politely and leniently. For further explanation, see (Surah At-Taubah, Ayat 23-24); (Surah Al-Mujadalah, ayat 22) note37; (Surah Al- Mumtahanah, ayat 1-3)note 1-3; (Surah Munafiqoon, ayat 9)note 18.